Genuine Insights

2013—The Year of the Dreamer

As we contemplate 2013 with hope and ambition, let’s let go of the resolutions and instead look upon 2013 as a dreamer looks upon the universe—with questioning eyes, an open heart, and the burning will to create and work towards something truly meaningful.

The dreamer doesn’t create lists of what she won’t do; she creates a vision of what she will do, regardless of the external barriers. She sets out to create an impact and does so for no other reason than passion itself.

This year instead of trying to stick to a not-so-effective annual list of resolutions, set out to fuel your own burning curiosities as all dreamers do and begin the year on a quest to stand for something greater than yourself. Hush the voice in your head that causes you to doubt yourself or think you can’t do something. Every time that voice returns and tries to divert you from your dreamer path, think of these three things:

1. Every successful dreamer is a successful doer. There isn’t an inventor, trailblazing entrepreneur, scientist, or change agent who has moved a dream from vision to reality without a whole lot of kickass hard work and lots of just plain doing. Some believe it takes luck, but I believe it takes painstaking hard work. One is helpless without the other, so get ready to really hit it hard. I promise it will be worth it.

2. Dreamers are also followers. When we think of some of the world’s most famous dreamers, we envision natural born leaders who stand alone and come before all others. In reality most dreamers are actually exceptional followers who build upon the great ideas of others, enhancing and taking ideas further, deeper or to the next level. You don’t have to be “first to market” with your dream to be an extradinary dreamer but you do have to be committed to achieving it no matter what.

In fact, being the first follower of an extradinary idea is its own kind of great leadership. This notion is amusingly expressed in one of my all time favorite TED talks, “How to start a movement,” by Derek Sivers, who sheds light on the fact that the first follower is actually an underestimated form of leadership in itself.

3. Time is everything. Time is our most valuable natural resource and when it comes to working towards a dream, many of us misuse time. This will be your greatest battle for moving your dream forward in 2013.

Whether its writing a book, starting an NGO in India, or launching your own business, every single dream worth working toward will take time and lots of it. Face this truth, evaluate how you manage your time, and make the changes necessary to dedicate your life to your dream.

Lastly, remember what Harriett Tubman taught us: “Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”

Here’s to dreaming with you in 2013!

Posted Dec 31, 2012 Tagged under: goals and goal setting, inspiration, motivation, reflection

The Paradox of Success

I have always believed that books are born in order to help change the world in a small way—or to change individual lives in a big way. The big surprise for me in the year since publishing, my book, Practical Genius, is how much I have changed, by far more than at any other time in my life.

What’s funny about goals, life dreams, and the crazy things that end up on our bucket lists is that when you set out to achieve these milestones you start off with a certain epic notion of what achieving them will feel like. In the end, though, you discover that you were way off on those expectations, which makes all the things that do happen when you actualize your visions or realize your dreams, well, they’re kind of shocking.

When you set goals and visualize all that you would love to achieve for yourself, your business, or your community, the real trick is to be consciously open to the self-exploration and the emotional expansion that takes place as you reach your milestones.

Even as you read this you may be deep into a quest of your own, busting your tail to get closer to the finish line you’ve been imagining forever. Although it’s been the be-all and end-all of your thoughts and energy for so long, once you reach your destination you won’t necessarily realize that something has changed about your reality, about your sense of who and where you are in your own narrative. Prepare for that.

For me the change was a huge surprise. I set out to write something disruptive and inspirational to impact the lives of my readers and instead I disrupted and inspired myself! For those of us who are obsessed with our goals and who work so diligently toward the success we envision, in the end it’s not the success we achieve that changes things but rather it’s how the journey we take to achieve success changes who we are.

In the year since publishing Practical Genius, as I’ve traveled around talking about the book, I have learned that what really matters to my quest isn’t how many books are sold, but how many people’s eyes I look into and recognize the passion and curiosity and genius we share. It’s not been how many companies I can reach but how profoundly immersed in the heroic journey I myself have been.

I’m not the only person in the world to realize this, of course, but it’s the first time I’ve seen it so clearly: achievement in itself is somewhat anti-climatic. Yes, crossing the finish line is exhilarating and the destination is gorgeous but the learning, fulfillment, and pure pleasure of the heart and mind is in the burning climb. You know I’m all about the foreplay!

So in celebration of the one-year anniversary of Practical Genius I share with you my twist on “the journey is the reward” adage: The journey is ass-kicking hard, but it ends up being the greatest kick-ass asset of the whole experience.

So if you are in the thick of a big project or a new venture, focused like a laser on achieving what you set out to do, pay close attention to the process along the way. Observe your experience as closely as you can—it’s not just about smelling the roses, it’s also about feeling the prick of the thorns…and there are plenty of them! Once you cross the finish line, things take on a different perspective and suddenly you realize you’d give anything to be back in the learning, growing, problem-solving, innovating mode that got you to your goal.

Success is a paradox. The pursuit of success or accomplishing a lifelong goal pulls us along by the nose and creates in us a bullish determination that makes everyone else look like they’re sleeping by comparison. And yet when you finally have some hindsight on your experience, you see where the prize was all along. So accept this paradox for what it is and pay attention to your experience so that your takeaway is the whole of it, not just the final moment.

And finally, remember how energizing and inspiring the start of something can be. No matter where you are in your journey toward a goal, never be without a next objective or a new creative pursuit taking shape in your head. Your mind is never more fertile than when you’re in the thick of the chase, so there isn’t a better time to be seeding your next phase of learning and growing. You’ll know you’ve got it right when you realize that there are no big endings to your pursuits, only an ongoing series of fantastic beginnings that overlap and provide a constant source of growth and wisdom and fulfillment.

Posted Oct 15, 2012 Tagged under: business, entrepreneurship, goals and goal setting, reflection

BEFORE YOU DIE

Three months ago I met a Fat Brain named Ben Nemtin on a shuttle bus heading to Lake Tahoe for a Summit Series gathering. I was pleasantly surprised by a question he asked me only seconds after sitting down beside me and introducing himself.

“So what do you want to do before you die?”

Never a fan of small talk, I smiled at this question and instead of answering, I asked him if he had an idea of what he would like to do in his lifetime.

“Well, I’ve already accomplished 80 of 100 things I want to do before I die,” he answered.

This wasn’t any ordinary fellow sitting next to me. This was a Practical Genius who had created a list of 100 mutual lifelong dreams with a group of friends, including Jonnie Penn, Dave Lingwood, and Duncan Penn. Wanting more of out life than what college was offering them, they hit the road in a rented Winnebago and began crossing items off their list and helping strangers achieve their dreams at the same time.

Their epic six-year adventure eventually landed them a show on MTV and as of today, they have completed 80 items on their list, including playing basketball with President Obama and delivering a baby. Especially exciting is their most recent accomplishment, #19 on their list: “Write a bestselling book.”

What Do You Want to Do Before You Die? published on March 27th by Artisan Books. Ben sent me a copy and I soaked it up in one sitting. It’s vibrant, hyper-visual, and is full of beautiful artwork created by Kevin Brainard. And the best part is instead of just writing about their own accomplishments, which they could easily have done, they included many chosen from tens of thousands of submission answers to the question: “What do you want to before you die?”

I cried when I read this entry: “Before I die I want to let my English teacher know that she saved my life.”

I want to ask you the same question: What do you want to do before you die?

Here’s #1 on my list: Before I die I want to positively impact the lives of a million people.

If many of us have mutual quests, dreams, and aspirations, maybe we can collaborate and accomplish them together.

What’s on your list?

Posted Apr 16, 2012 Tagged under: fat brains, goals and goal setting, motivation, reflection

Scratch Your Christmas List for a Genius Wish List

Every year millions of people spend a good amount of time generating their “What I want for Christmas or Hanukah” list and I have to admit to having a bit of this nasty little habit myself. This year, I’d like to shift the focus from material acquisition—what we want—to genius acquisition—who we want to be—by thinking about what I hope to learn and how I hope to grow this holiday season and in 2012.

The best way to do this is first to redefine the word “gift” as it relates to yourself and to others. Experience is one of the most important learning factors for every Practical Genius, so this year what you want to receive and what you want to give others is not a thing, it’s an experience. The secret ingredient to a transformative experience is, of course, the environment in which it takes place. So now to create a Genius Wish List that will take us to the places that will move and expand us, stretch our muscles and shed new light in our lives. Here’s how:

First, find a quiet, comfortable, “alone” place and at least 30 minutes in your busy schedule for this valuable exercise.

Second, close your eyes and visualize the specific environments where the most profound and illuminating experiences you have had have taken place. Use your journal or photo albums to remind you of these pivotal moments. These environments might include outdoor spaces, a particular building in a certain city, a museum or gallery, public spaces, a garden, a studio, cafes or restaurants, or, of course, a church, temple, mosque or other spiritual center. Try to remember these environments in as much detail as possible—the colors, the sounds and smells, the light, the textures that helped to shape the experience and deeply impress it upon you.

Third, with these environments in mind, make a list of five places that are new to you that you will visit this year, at least one of these visits taking place with family or friends during the holiday season. This will require a fun bit of research, rooting through your files of “someday” activities, Googling around online, and brainstorming with the people in your life. This isn’t a climb-Mount-Everest bucket list; it’s a very specific, very purposeful and doable list of experiences waiting to happen. You don’t have to travel far or spend a bunch of money to fulfill your Genius Wish List. Just take the time and pleasure in planning for reflective, multi-sensory experiences like others you have had before; whatever it is you choose to do, you want to feel “full,” leaving you with much to sustain and inspire you well into the future. You might even map out your List by creating a visual collage of the environments and experiences you plan to enjoy throughout the year; this will help you integrate these plans into the way you view your day-to-day life, rather than relegate them to the “when-I-have-some-free time” closet. It will also stimulate your sense memories in a highly motivating way.

Think also about ways to create a Wish List experience yourself. For example, having some of the most important growth moments of my life take place over an extraordinary meal and having also become very interested in the science of food in the last few years, my Genius Wish List for 2012 includes hosting a “molecular gastronomy” dinner party, inviting a chef, of course, but also an artist or two, a musician, a technologist, and maybe an educator—all to foster the spontaneous combustion of creativity and precision, art and science, craft and conversation.

Whatever’s on your list, though, plan for it. Get out your calendar and begin to work out the timing and logistics for each experience. If you don’t make the commitment and the necessary plans, we both know it won’t happen. The best gift you can give yourself is a year full of original, genius-feeding experiences. So make your Wish List, map it out, and share it with the people who matter to you so they know where you’re headed in the coming year. Better yet, invite them along! Genius loves company.

Making a point of having one of your Wish List experiences during the holiday season serves two purposes: First, it’s a powerful reminder that what we do is more important than what we have, that joy comes from the living of our lives, not from packages under a tree. Second, it will set the bar for the new year in a way that will make you impatient for your next Wish List experience. Yup, it’s the kind of food for your genius that never satiates, but rather fuels your hunger further. In this case, I promise, this is a good thing.

I guarantee that tossing out your Christmas list in exchange for a Genius Wish List will change the way the holidays and the whole year play out for you. Please let me know of your own extraordinary Wish List experiences as they happen this year so we can all share in the transformation they inspired. You can be sure you’ll hear about mine!

Posted Nov 29, 2011 Tagged under: goals and goal setting, inspiration, motivation, uncategorized

The Curse of Being a High Achiever

This morning I sat down to devour my June issue of Harvard Business Review, heading straight for my favorite column, “Managing Yourself.” Imagine my delight to discover this month’s article, “The Paradox of Excellence.” Not only did it feature my favorite “P” word—Paradox—the article was written by a father—Thomas Delong, a professor at Harvard Business School—and his daughter, Sara DeLong, who is a psychiatrist in private practice in San Francisco. You don’t see that every day!.

If you are a High Achiever playing it safe, this one’s for you.

Read the rest of "The Curse of Being a High Achiever"

Posted Jun 2, 2011 Tagged under: entrepreneurship, goals and goal setting, motivation