Genuine Insights

The Curse of Being a High Achiever

This morning I sat down to devour my June issue of Harvard Business Review, heading straight for my favorite column, “Managing Yourself.” Imagine my delight to discover this month’s article, “The Paradox of Excellence.” Not only did it feature my favorite “P” word—Paradox—the article was written by a father—Thomas Delong, a professor at Harvard Business School—and his daughter, Sara DeLong, who is a psychiatrist in private practice in San Francisco. You don’t see that every day!.

If you are a High Achiever playing it safe, this one’s for you.

Read the rest of "The Curse of Being a High Achiever"

Posted Jun 2, 2011 Tagged under: entrepreneurship, goals and goal setting, motivation

Be An Outsider

I’ve come to realize one of the greatest aspects of being an entrepreneur is you get away with being an outsider. What do I mean by outsider? An outsider is someone who doesn’t fit nicely into any particular box and lives life by her own rules regardless of how the outside world may view it. An outsider accepts her contradictions and goes one step further—she lives them on purpose. She takes the long way to church on Sunday mornings to check out the graffiti by local artists. She listens to Eminem on her way to speak at a woman’s conference and tosses rose pedals to Yemaya (goddess of the ocean) as she crosses bridges. I’ve always been, to some extent, an outsider but the difference today is I am getting away with it with little guilt or self-consciousness and a great deal of joy.

Read the rest of "Be An Outsider"

Posted Nov 23, 2010 Tagged under: entrepreneurship, motivation, reflection

The Talk of my life

When I walked onto the TED stage with butterflies in my stomach and tremoring hands I had two choices to make, do I freak out or do I decide to enjoy the moment the monumental moment. Thank God I chose the latter with the spotlight shinning upon my caramel skin, Star Trek like microphone snug around my ear, I stood tall, embraced the energy of the audience and decided to enjoy the hell out of those 3 minutes rather than freak out.

I then began to tell my story and the TED Global audience of 700 minds responded instantly to me with laughter, compassion, encouragement, interest and solidarity with my “we all possess practical genius” message. It was one of those amazing experiences where you actually can’t believe its really happening as it happens.

The greatest part of these 3 minutes was the connection I was able to have with with what some will argue is one of the smartest international audiences a speaker can find herself in front of. I gave them everything I had, including energy, passion, authenticity and of course huge dollops of genius and it worked. For three minutes I had and enjoyed their full attention and it was truly a remarkable feeling.

PREPARING for the Talk of your Life

The back-story to preparing for what TED organizers boldly describe as “the talk of your life” is all about practice, practice and more practice. As a coach to many executives, I projected many of them would ask me just how many hours did I practice so I proactively logged the amount of time I invested in the talk and net to net, it was a grand total of 62 hours.

Read the rest of "The Talk of my life"

Posted Jul 21, 2010 Tagged under: business, fat brains, ideas and innovation, motivation, overcoming obstacles

5 Easy Steps to Making Change Work for You Instead of Against You

This week my husband and I made a few life-changing decisions and rather than becoming paralyzed by the fear of change we chose to face it down and make it work for us. I hope the following steps help you, too.

Step 1: Learn the mantra.

First, address your fear with the mantra, “Fear is only false evidence acting real.” If you repeat this to yourself while you are experiencing the emotional influence of fear those manifestations of fear begin to abate. I have battled with anxiety most of my life and let me tell you, I know a thing or two about fear and this mantra works.

When you are confronted with a life changing opportunity and you begin to feel the fear rise within you, tame it with this mantra and remember the sooner you calm down the sooner you will actually be able to carry on with clarity and purpose. And at the end of the day isn’t that we all want, to just be able to carry on with what we were doing?

Tackle the fear that comes with change, dilute it with self-affirming inner talk and remember what my dad always says: “This, too, shall pass.”

Step 2: Realize that change moves you forward.

Change has many faces. Whether its relocation, changing careers, becoming a parent, reinventing yourself, getting through a divorce or becoming a vegetarian, although it’s never really comfortable and almost always difficult, change is the only way to move forward. Literally.

Read the rest of "5 Easy Steps to Making Change Work for You Instead of Against You"

Posted Jun 15, 2010 Tagged under: creativity, fear, lists, motivation, overcoming obstacles

Top 5 Lessons I learned from Oprah

This past weekend I celebrated mother’s day with 6,000 women in attendance for O Magazine’s Live your Best Life Weekend and of all the lessons I learned from Oprah and her tribe which included my favorites, Martha Beck, Suze Orman, Adam Glassman and Nate Berkus, the following were the greatest insights.

1. Live boldly.

Not one but three of the speakers, including Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray Love all shared the importance and power of living boldly and I couldn’t agree more. In the last 15 months, I have taken risks, conquered fears and have realized the more chances I take, the bolder my life becomes and the bolder my life becomes the greater the rewards.

2. Fill your cup first before you fill the cup of others.

“Wow,” I thought to myself, as I listened to Oprah share this simple yet profound piece of advice at Radio City on Saturday night. Both men and women suffer from this but women are the biggest culprits.. Why is it that we take care of our mothers, our husbands, our children, our cats and dogs before we even begin to think about our own needs? Why, why, why? If I could stress one insight the most, it’s this one. Fill your cup first ladies. And remember you are really doing a disservice to everyone you love by continuing the role of sacrificial lamb, so stop.

Read the rest of "Top 5 Lessons I learned from Oprah"

Posted May 11, 2010 Tagged under: inspiration, lists, motivation