The Curse of Being a High Achiever
This morning I sat down to devour my June issue of Harvard Business Review, heading straight for my favorite column, “Managing Yourself.” Imagine my delight to discover this month’s article, “The Paradox of Excellence.” Not only did it feature my favorite “P” word—Paradox—the article was written by a father—Thomas Delong, a professor at Harvard Business School—and his daughter, Sara DeLong, who is a psychiatrist in private practice in San Francisco. You don’t see that every day!.
If you are a High Achiever playing it safe, this one’s for you:
Many High Achievers play it safe after achieving a certain amount of success because they have come to fear failure and don’t want to mess with their status, credibility, or comfy identity. If this sounds like you—highly motivated, driven to get results but now shying away from high risk—you better think again. The concept of the Paradox of Excellence suggests that you have to make mistakes, experience setbacks, and demonstrate vulnerability right along with your success and achievement in order to truly sustain excellence.
Here are four recommendations from the article to help you embrace the Paradox of Excellence:
Put the past behind you.
If you are caught up with past failures and can’t move beyond them, remember to shift the way you view any painful interaction and begin right away to put the past behind you.
Use your support network.
High Achievers are independent and don’t use their networks as well as they should. Engage the Yodas, ambassadors, and fat brains in your network and seek out candid feedback. Praise alone in life is truly is a waste of learning time. Don’t be dismissive and garner all kinds of feedback from your support network whenever you can.
Become vulnerable.
This is my favorite piece of Thomas and Sara’s advice: If you have “bitten off more than you can chew” on a project, a commitment, or even with your volunteer work, let it be known. Admit when you have made a wrong decision, out your anxieties, and realize that vulnerability demonstrates honesty and is truly liberating.
Focus on the long term.
There is no way you will ever achieve long-term greatness without many short-term risks. Remember that turtle steps many times win the race. Focus on the long-term goals and realize there will always be setbacks along the way but as long as you keep your eye on the long term, you will continue to achieve.
The bottom line is this:
“Moving your A game to a new level or in a new direction takes humility, it takes practice, and it takes patience. But it’s a necessary step on the road to doing the right thing well.”
—Thomas and Sara DeLong, “The Paradox of Excellence,” Harvard Business Review, June, 2011
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